Let children walk with Nature, let them see the beautiful blendings and communions of death and life, their joyous inseparable unity, as taught in woods and meadows, plains and mountains and streams of our blessed star, and they will learn that death is stingless indeed, and as beautiful as life. - John Muir
Aislinn's new topic of interest has become death (and as these things are, Tara's too). So if you would like to have a long in depth conversation about dying, please speak to my 4 year old.
The topic was sparked by sudden death in our extended family. (For which we are extremely sorry as we know how much he will be missed.)
Aislinn decided immediately that when someone dies, they are to be remembered in our heads, and loved in our hearts. And that it would be ok to miss them and even to cry.
This prompted Aislinn and Tara to question me on my own mortality, and what I had set up for them "when" it happens. We talked openly about the term orphan, and the number of orphans in other countries, and that myself and their Dad would do everything we could to be around for them until they were grown up... possibly even becoming Grandparents ourselves (and what that entailed).
Throughout the discussion, the girls were quite happy to include their comments like: "Well mom, you have to be alive long enough to teach me to drive", and "So that means that (carefully omitted senior member of the family's name) is going to die soon because she has so many wrinkles...pause...but we will remember her too!
It takes conversing with a 4 and 3 year old, to bring out the humor in something that is normally not so funny!
But in a more serious manner, I am astounded by the level of understanding Aislinn has in these topics. She shows a true empathy for how one must feel, and strives to dig as much information from me as she can. We have gotten as far as how your heart stops beating, and your blood no longer flows to your major organs, and how your blood will stay inside your body unless you are cut. (On the anatomy end of things.) What happens after a funeral, how your body is buried and decomposes - concepts I never would have imagined myself describing to a kid so young.
I have even reached the point of not being worried if someone close to her or quite frankly if I were to pass away as she already shows coping mechanisms stronger than most adults I know!
A creepy feeling really... you always think your kids will need you forever....
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